Recently I’ve learned an important lesson I’d like to share with you.
It revolves around the Quaker idea to “proceed as way opens.” So, if you’ll indulge me for a few minutes, I think my lessons and introspections can help us all live a healthier and more balanced life.
Maybe you’ve heard of the book Who Moved My Cheese?
It’s about adjusting to change.
Sometimes you move your own cheese and sometimes someone else moves your cheese. A major hunk of your cheese can be moved at any time.
Examples of moving your own cheese might be quitting your job, moving to a new location, or choosing to retire. You make the choice and then take action to instigate the change.
Examples of someone else moving your cheese might be getting laid off, or having something or someone of value taken from you.
That’s what happened to me recently.
I imagine, like most of you, I PREFER to move my own cheese. I like calling the shots. Who doesn’t? However, it doesn’t always work that way.
About three months ago I lost my younger brother to cancer. He was 52 and it all happened so quickly. It still feels like a dream that can’t possibly be true.
That my life could be going so well and that I feel so healthy and strong, and at the same time his life could be ending seems unfathomable.
That I was busy moving my own cheese from here to there, calling the shots, while his cheese was moved for him in the most profound way possible seems like the ultimate lesson in looking at this Who Moved My Cheese idea.
And I think it really gets interesting if you add the Quaker idea of “proceed as way opens” to this cheese moving concept.
If we think of life as one door opening as another one closes (whether or not we’ve moved our cheese or had it moved for us), we can use these kinds of life changing events to learn and grow.
It’s impossible for someone like me not to get introspective after a loss like this.
I wonder how best to balance the ways in which I can call the shots with the things I really can’t control, so that I proceed through my life feeling healthy and content.
Being pushy and forcing life, instead of proceeding as way opens doesn’t work very well. When a path opens because someone moved our cheese we have a few options:
We can resist, get angry, and go to battle or……..
We can mourn what we would have PREFERRED to have happened, regroup and then proceed as way opens.
I’m not saying this is easy, nor am I suggesting any timeline for this.
I am suggesting however, that if our ultimate plan is to be healthier and lead a more balanced life, it really does help to watch ourselves react when our cheese is moved.
When my brother first died I was ANGRY. A very normal reaction. I still feel angry at times. How dare my brother’s cheese be moved?
Yet I find myself regrouping, proceeding and asking myself questions like, “How can I honor my brother’s life?”
“How do I continue to be the woman he enjoyed and respected?”
“How can I use this life-changing experience to bring a message to others so that they’ll benefit from what I’m learning?”
I often speak about letting go of that which does not serve us in our journey to become healthier and live a life filled with joy and contentment.
And I also speak about noticing whether the questions we ask ourselves empower or disempower us.
Questions like the ones I mentioned help me to recognize that cheese has moved and doors have been closed. But in answering them new paths will inevitably emerge.
So here are some questions for you.
Are there hunks of cheese you are thinking about moving?
Don’t be afraid to move them, particularly if they’ll lead to a healthier life and a more contented you!
Has someone moved your cheese and you are resisting or in denial?
Then it may be time to proceed as way opens and see what awaits you!
Join me in celebrating life and the doors that close and the ones that open……….notice in your own life when the way opens and PROCEED!
I look forward to hearing what you’ve learned when you’ve been faced with cheese moving events in your own life. Post a comment below……..
Shelli
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