“Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be.”

- Kahlil Gibran

This is an interesting quote from Kahlil Gibran, and it got me thinking. Is there really a big difference between enhancing and advancing?

Sometimes yes and sometimes no.

Enhancing can, and often does, lead to advancing, but advancing feels more action oriented, more like forward progress.

After thinking about this for a few days, I went looking for some principles that might lead to BOTH enhancing and advancing.

I came upon something that Dr. Eric Cobb, one of my mentors, brought to my attention. I’d like to share it with you.

It’s called Bob Parsons’  Rules to Live By. Bob is one of the founders of GoDaddy.com. He has 16 rules on his list. I’ve eliminated a few of his, and at the end of his list I added one of my own!  

While the first time you read these they may seem to be very business oriented, I think they apply to life in general and to both enhancing our lives while at the same time advancing towards our goals. See what you think.

Bob Parsons’ Rules to Live By

1.Get and stay out of your comfort zone.

I believe that not much happens of any significance when we’re in our comfort zone. I hear people say, “But I’m concerned about security.” My response to that is simple: “Security is for cadavers.”

2.Never give up.

Almost nothing works the first time it’s attempted. Just because what you’re doing does not seem to be working doesn’t mean it won’t work. It just means that it might not work the way you’re doing it. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn’t have an opportunity.

3.When you’re ready to quit, you’re closer than you think.

There’s an old Chinese saying that I just love, and I believe it is so true. It goes like this: “The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed.”

With regard to whatever worries you, not only accept the worst thing that could happen, but make it a point to quantify what the worst thing could be.

Very seldom will the worst consequence be anywhere near as bad as a cloud of “undefined consequences.” My father would tell me early on, when I was struggling and losing my shirt trying to get Parsons Technology going, “Well, Robert, if it doesn’t work, they can’t eat you.”

4. Focus on what you want to have happen.
Remember that old saying, “As you think, so shall you be.”

5. Take things a day at a time.

No matter how difficult your situation is, you can get through it if you don’t look too far into the future and focus on the present moment. You can get through anything one day at a time.

6. Always be moving forward.

Never stop investing. Never stop improving. Never stop doing something new. The moment you stop improving your organization, it starts to die. Make it your goal to be better each and every day, in some small way. Remember the Japanese concept of Kaizen. Small daily improvements eventually result in huge advantages.

7. Be quick to decide.

Remember what General George S. Patton said: “A good plan executed today is far and away better than a perfect plan tomorrow.”

8. Measure everything of significance.

I swear this is true. Anything that is measured and watched improves.

9. Anything that is not managed will deteriorate.

If you want to uncover problems you don’t know about, take a few moments and look closely at the areas you haven’t examined for a while. I guarantee you problems will be there.

10. Pay attention to your competitors, but pay more attention to what you’re doing.

When you look at your competitors, remember that everything looks perfect at a distance. Even the planet Earth, if you get far enough into space, looks like a peaceful place.

11. Never expect life to be fair.

Life isn’t fair. You make your own breaks. You’ll be doing good if the only meaning fair has to you is something that you pay when you get on a bus (i.e., fare).

12. Solve your own problems.

You’ll find that by coming up with your own solutions, you’ll develop a competitive edge. Masura Ibuka, the cofounder of Sony, said it best: “You never succeed in technology, business, or anything by following the others.” There’s also an old Asian saying that I remind myself of frequently. It goes like this: “A wise man keeps his own counsel.”

13. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

Lighten up. Often, at least half of what we accomplish is due to luck. None of us are in control as much as we like to think we are.

14. There’s always a reason to smile. Find it.

After all, you’re really lucky just to be alive. Life is short. More and more, I agree with my little brother. He always reminds me: “We’re not here for a long time; we’re here for a good time.”

Shelli’s rule: Make up your own rules! It is your life, after all!

We all struggle.

Some of us struggle with adhering to our nutritional plans.

Some of us struggle with motivation, and in turn with sticking with our workouts and exercise plans.

These struggles hinder us from reaching our fat loss goals.

So, no matter which one of these you struggle with, here are 5 tips you can start using today.

They will help you struggle less and succeed more!

1) Figure out what works for you.

There’s an expression I like, “The record keeper is the record breaker.”

I had an experience with a client last week that really made this one hit home.

I was working with a 19 time Ironman finisher.

I was coaching him and helping him improve his running technique. I had a packet of handouts for him, which included one on keeping a progress journal.

Nine out of ten times when I give this particular handout to a client they tell me they’ve never tracked any of their health and fitness goals. They also don’t quite understand how they’d benefit from keep a journal.

My Ironman, however, had a very different response!

He told me he’d been tracking everything related to his training for years.

No surprise to me then, that at age 51 he’s still going strong!

Tracking your workouts and nutrition is important.

Whether you’re just beginning to make changes or wanting to increase results, the more information you have, the better you’ll be able to strategize and see results.

It’s key to eliminate what isn’t working and repeat what does work. Keeping track is the best way to tell!

2) Your fat loss efforts will often hit a plateau. That’s when you need to shake things up a bit.

One easy way to do this is to go for a new goal.

Maybe that means running faster, or swimming farther or lifting more weight.

Do something above and beyond what you’re already doing or try something completely different.

The choice is yours, so give this some thought and see what you can come up with.

3) We are all products of what we repeatedly do.

That’s true for the way we look, the way we think and the way we feel.

As you make healthier and healthier choices, in the beginning you have to think about doing them, right?

But over time they become habits.

That’s the point. That’s when results really skyrocket.

There’s no longer that subtle, or sometimes not so subtle, resistance.

Notice the healthy actions that you’ve already turned into habits. Congratulate yourself and keep adding to that list!

4) Step by step things add up. Small steps lead to big successes. One step at a time.

The more challenged you feel, the more important it is to remind yourself of this.

No step is too small if it’s a step in the right direction!

And don’t worry about changing things overnight; they mostly change over time!

5) Accountability can be a cornerstone of success.

Ever notice how if you make a commitment, perhaps by signing up for a class or for an event, you do what needs to be done?

Making yourself accountable to others can work wonders in getting better fat loss results. It helps keep you on track.

So don’t dismiss enlisting the support of friends, a fitness professional or workout partners. They can all be part of your plan to lead a healthier and more fit lifestyle.

All of these tips will help your fat loss efforts, so DO use them.

And of course using them ALL will have a wonderful synergistic effect.

Let me know how this works for you!

shelli

I was reading about the difference between otters and beavers the other day, and it got me thinking.

Otters are said to be the most playful of all animals.

Life for them is one frolic after another, sunbathing on a rock, eating and then more playing and frolic.

They have fun, seek out adventure, and make us say, “oh how cute” a lot.

Sounds like an ideal life, right?

Beavers, however, work really differently.

There’s a reason for the label “busy beaver.”

They gnaw down small trees and dig pathways to transport the material they gather. They build their homes of sticks and mud and dams to maintain the water level of a stream or deepen a pond.

I can surely see my “inner” beaver when she comes out.

I’m productive by nature so I can get overly absorbed in pursuing my goals. I can go through times when I’ll get up earlier and stay up too late in the name of accomplishment.

Not anymore!

These days I’m looking to balance my inner beaver with my inner otter.

It’s great to be an achiever. And I still believe in a “whatever it takes” approach when I set my intentions and am looking for certain results.

However, only on rare occasions and for limited time frames will I go full beaver and leave my otter behind.

Sure, there are times that call for FOCUS and making something happen.

That’s when I’ll call upon my inner beaver.

However, I’m learning that there is NO NEED to be in hyper-mode all the time. With better planning, delegating, and healthy expectations, life seems to come together just fine.

Under ordinary circumstances, and in my day to day life, I find that it’s much healthier and less stressful to embrace my “inner otter”.

When I complete a task or finish a project, instead of rushing like a beaver would to the next task and project, I’ll take some time to reflect on what I’ve accomplished or take a time out and do something very otter-like.

You can do something similar.

Next time you notice you’re intent on acting too beaver-like and the situation really doesn’t call for that kind of intensity, stop and think: how can I still get this done yet bring some of my inner otter out?

Here’s the point: Play more!

It’ll help you bring renewed vitality and enthusiasm to the achievement of your goals.

In other words, take yourself lightly.

You can do this even while taking your work or other responsibilities seriously.

It works for me and I know it can work for you, too.

Here’s an example of how to do this:

Make a list of your scheduled activities for next week.

For each one, ask yourself, “How can I make this fun?”

Write down your answer. And write the word FUN next to it to imprint your new perspective on your brain.

Make this a part of your weekly routine.

Let me know how it goes.

Make your new motto: You oughta be an otter!

Warning: this blog piece contains a humorous yet thoughtful look at the F-word (fear)!

We hate to admit it but most of our fears are irrational. And I’ll even admit that most of my fears are irrational.

On one hand, everyday life just isn’t that dangerous anymore. Technology, engineering, and modern medicine have eliminated so many of the things that people used to fear.

Fear, after all, evolved as a basic survival mechanism. Fears arise in response to perceived threats, and trigger a “fight or flight” response from us.

For most of us, it’s a flight pattern and we’re on an avoidance course. Studies show what we fear is fairly universal: spiders, snakes, heights, public speaking, and death.

As Jerry Seinfeld once said, “According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Does that sound right? This means at a funeral most people would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

We all might agree that one of our greatest, if not THE greatest fear, is fear of failure.

Whether we are aware of it or not, it can paralyze us and keep us from taking action, taking risks, and having experiences that we might benefit us greatly.

It’s easier for all of us to stick with what we perceive as safe, comfortable and familiar.

Yet many times when we choose safety we reinforce fear.

We nurture fear.

We let it dictate the terms by which we live our lives and make our choices.

When we overcome our fears we begin to live.

“He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life,” said Ralph Waldo Emerson.

How is fear conquered?

That can be a complicated question that keeps you from ever actually conquering your fears.

So let’s keep it simple.

We conquer fears by doing what we think we can’t do, again and again.

When I was young, and even to this day, I stutter. Being called on in class or in any social outing terrified me.

Today however, I seek out opportunities to speak in public. It’s one of the best ways for me to meet people and let them know who I am and what I can offer them.

I see fear as a barrier to success.

It can give a small thing a big shadow.

I also see fear as the opposite of faith.

It keeps us stuck in between regret over the past and anxiety about the future.

These days I’m feeling like very few things warrant the fear energy we give them. Often we’re running not from genuine threats but from what we’re imagining.

That’s why my favorite acronym for fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.

There are many rewards for conquering fear.

The biggest one is the other F word; freedom.

Freedom from anxiety.

Freedom from regret.

Freedom from a life unlived.

Do you think fortune really does favor the brave? I do.

As Marianne Williamson wrote, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? … We are all meant to shine, as children do. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

As middle aged women, we have lived enough life to know which fears are still holding us back.

Air them out, one at a time.

Know them, and work through them and don’t let “false evidence appear real.”

As for me, I’d much much rather be the one giving the eulogy than the one in the casket!

shelli