Do you consider yourself lucky?

Do you know someone you think of as having all the luck, and you call them a lucky duck?

It’s interesting how we view luck.

Some say luck is preparedness meeting opportunity.

There’s also the expression “born under a lucky star.” Some people seem to have the Midas touch and all they touch turns to gold. They seem to get lucky breaks followed by more lucky breaks.

I DO consider myself lucky.

I have abundant health, a profession I enjoy and wonderful relationships. While I’ve had my share of lucky breaks and serendipity, I must admit that I do feel like I also go out and MAKE my luck.

How?

Glad you asked!

Here are some ideas about how I approach creating my good luck:

1. Get out there.

I admit, my naturally outgoing personality makes this one look easy but I still have to practice getting out there. The more you do this the more you’ll come across opportunities and the helpful people who go along with those opportunities. Meet new people. Learn something new about the people you already know. Ask questions. Develop a curious nature. Put yourself out there so that luck will find you!

2. Go with your gut.

Trusting and believing your gut reactions to life can be helpful. Our instincts can guide us. There’s the intellectual approach to life, which has its place, but don’t forget to make room for your instincts to help you make decisions. Start to notice if your luck comes from the times you let your gut be your guide. This will help you trust your gut feelings in the future.

3. Grab the silver lining.

If you think of those people you consider lucky, I’ll bet one trait they have is making lemonade out of lemons. They seem to find something positive to take out of every situation, even when they are out of luck. Misery loves company, and lady luck does too. Fortune seems to go to the fortunate, so find some positive aspect you can focus on in every situation and create your own luck.

These 3 G’s: get, go and grab, can be applied to all aspects of your life.

Want better health, want to enjoy your life more or want to feel more fulfilled in your relationships?

Work with these three approaches and see if you find more opportunities meeting with your preparedness.

I’m betting on lady luck that you do!

shelli

Want to feel great when you wake up in the morning and get going with plenty of energy?

Use acupressure and stimulate your kidney point. This will do the trick.

Here’s how:

When you wake up in the morning sit at the side or foot of your bed. Your kidney point is at the bottom of each foot.

The point is actually on the pad of your foot just under your big toe and second toe.

Start massaging there, and if you’re so inclined, massage your whole sole.

I do, and it feels great!

Start with your left foot. Massage deeply at least 50 times.

Then massage your right foot 50 times.

This will take care of any low energy you feel and get your spirits and your day off to a great start.

shelli

When I read that Rue McClanahan died yesterday, it stirred something up in me.

Maybe some of you haven’t heard the news yet, and maybe some of you don’t know who she was.

She was the actress who played Blanche on the television series “The Golden Girls.” It aired for 7 years from 1985 until 1992. It was a comedy show about 4 “seasoned” women who live together in Miami Beach, Florida.

Here’s the excerpt I read that got me thinking about a few ideas I’d like to share with you.

To Ms. McClanahan, “The Golden Girls” was special for allowing its women to be funny and many-sided, not stock figures, recognizing “that when people mature, they add layers,” as she told The New York Times in 1985. “They don’t turn into other creatures,” she added. “The truth is, we all still have our child, our adolescent and our young woman living in us.”

The show put smart funny lines in the mouths of well-seasoned women.

I went back in my memory to the time when I first watched “The Golden Girls.”

In the mid to late 80’s I was taking care of my aunt, who was undergoing cancer treatment. She would take breaks from work, often months at a time.

During these times we would watch “The Golden Girls.” It was funny, it was smart, and it felt like us!

Only one thing didn’t fit.

My aunt was surely a “golden girl” but I was in my mid 30’s wondering if I’d ever get to be a “golden girl”.

Would I age to be anything like Blanche, Dorothy, Rose or Sophia? Only time would tell.

I thought about that quote all day yesterday.

I just loved the part about adding layers and how we still have all those layers living in us.

Of course we do, though sometimes we forget that we can call upon that experience and wisdom whenever we need to.

Now I’m well-seasoned and catch glimpses of each of those golden girls inside me.

I’ll admit to being sexy and sassy like Blanche if you will.

I’ll admit to being dominant and bossy like Dorothy if you will.

And ditsy and naive like Rose, I’m still inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Sophia used to talk to her dead husband, Sal. Sadly, I’m at the point of talking to my deceased relatives too, but I digress!

Heck, I’ll even admit to loving ice cream as much as the golden girls did.

This past year a friend and I caught a few rerun episodes of the show. Sure the clothes may have been dated, and those hairstyles were amazing, but you know what never goes out of style?

Well-seasoned women who are willing to share laughter, life and words of wisdom with us.

NOW we who watched “The Golden Girls” ARE those well-seasoned women.  So let’s keep learning together, adding layers, and laughing together.

Thanks Rue, for fond memories and for not taking yourself too seriously!

shelli

A SHORT FUNNY STORY FOR YOU:

Last week I was talking with Judy.

She’s almost 70 and is a long time family friend. She’s known me since I was born!

I was showing her the many menopause projects I’m working on and she really enjoyed them. She told me that when she was younger and asked her elders, particularly her grandmother, about menopause this is how the conversation went.

Judy: “Grandma, I’m getting hot flashes. What should I do?”

Grandma: “HOT FLASHES—Stick your head out the window!!!”

We had a good laugh when Judy shared this with us.

If you have any stories like these send them along. I’d love to share them blog posts.

And remember, no step is too small as long as it’s a step in the right direction!

And laughing is DEFINITELY a step in the right direction!

shelli

As I write this I am in the friendly skies on a Southwest Airlines flight.

This past year and a half I have not flown anywhere. My travels have all been by car. I am an easy traveler and don’t mind flying. Having not flown much, it has been interesting to observe people in route and at the airports.

A few minutes ago the flight crew gave their “not so typical” Southwest Air version of the in flight safety instructions. I had forgotten how creative they can be.

It reminded me that even during the most stressful and tedious situations which test our patience and tolerance, there is room for laughter and lightness.

I found myself taking a deep breath and relaxing after she spoke and received her round of applause.

My favorite joke she said? “There is a $2000 fine for smoking in the bathrooms and if you could afford that you’d be flying Delta, so just don’t smoke!”

Even though what each of us find humorous is different, and the timing and use of humor is an art, it pays to practice seeing the lighter side of life.

When things get out of hand and you feel yourself spinning out of control and not on your A game see if you can remember this blog post and add some humor and laughter.

Or just pretend you’re a Southwest Airlines employee and you’re at your job interview. How would they spin what you’re going through to get you to relax and put a smile on your face?

From the funny skies,

shelli

New decade, new beginnings, and new opportunity to learn more about yourself as you go through menopause. Here’s my top 10 things I’ve learned.

1. It’s a word, not a sentence! Menopause doesn’t last forever. It begins before you notice it because your estrogen levels start declining long before your menstrual cycle stops. Yes, the symptoms are annoying, but it helps to remember they don’t last forever.

2. Don’t believe everything you hear. I’ve noticed that the women who have the hardest time during menopause will share their experiences as if it’ll be hard for all women. If you feel yourself slipping into a fearful mode about what’s potentially down the road, stop listening! It just might be an easier transition than you’re anticipating. You may or may NOT have hot flashes, trouble sleeping, mood swings or any of the other symptoms. Fewer than half of menopausal women say they are bothered by hot flashes and night sweats. Everyone is different, so keep this in mind!

3. DO engage the support of others. Women who have been there and done that can be a valuable resource. However, stay away from what might feel like support but is actually an opportunity to complain. You’re looking for opportunities to feel your best and make menopause as smooth a transition as possible.

4. Laugh every chance you get. We all know that laughter is the best medicine! Seek opportunities each and every day to laugh. Laughter may not “cure” you, but it sure will make this stage of your life more fun!

5. Take time for self reflection. Menopause represents letting go of one phase of your life as you enter the next phase. It’s often during the years 45-55 that you go through menopause and statistically this also represents the middle years of your life span. It’s a good time to take stock and reflect on where you’ve been and where you’re heading, and to ask yourself what you want out of life. Self reflection, (whether by writing, reading, or talking) can also help you weather the storm that a challenging menopause can create. Often during menopause we feel out of control. Reflecting and planning for the future helps you feel better about yourself, more at peace with who you are, and helps you feel empowered so you can move along through this time of life with greater ease. Try it!

6. Pay attention to your overall health. If you haven’t been doing this all along, conditions such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and osteoporosis can be exacerbated during menopause. Pay attention to your general health. If it’s time for a checkup, seek out the appropriate health care provider and handle all of your concerns.

7. Your sex life will likely be different. You may experience a decreased interest in sex. You may also experience pain because estrogen levels decrease and the lining of the vagina begins to atrophy. Having a fulfilling sex life is a wonderful part of being a woman, so communicating with your partner is essential. You may also find it helps to talk to your health care provider.

8. Menopause has its own language. All of a sudden words like perimenopause, post menopause, estrogen, and testosterone come into play. Educate yourself and you’ll feel more empowered while going through menopause.

9. Is weight gain inevitable? It’s a question I’m asked over and over again. Women say, “I don’t eat any more than I used to and I’ve put on weight.” They’ve tried every diet out there and still they gain or can’t lose the weight they’ve gained. Proper nutrition is so important during this stage of life, as is exercise. They go hand in hand in order for you to optimize your weight and health during menopause.

10. Understand the role hormones play. You’ve been having hormonal fluctuations your entire life. Remember when you first got your period or when you were pregnant? Menopause, too, causes huge changes in your hormone levels, affecting every organ system in your body. The decrease in estrogen is the one we hear about the most. These fluctuating hormonal levels leave you feeling angry, forgetting things, crying for no apparent reason, experiencing depression, and feeling like you’re not yourself.

You are not alone. Hopefully it will be of some comfort to you to remember that all women go through menopause. It’s part of our life cycle. Read through these 10 points again, put them to good use, and have the best transition through menopause you can!

shelli

“Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be.”

- Kahlil Gibran

This is an interesting quote from Kahlil Gibran, and it got me thinking. Is there really a big difference between enhancing and advancing?

Sometimes yes and sometimes no.

Enhancing can, and often does, lead to advancing, but advancing feels more action oriented, more like forward progress.

After thinking about this for a few days, I went looking for some principles that might lead to BOTH enhancing and advancing.

I came upon something that Dr. Eric Cobb, one of my mentors, brought to my attention. I’d like to share it with you.

It’s called Bob Parsons’  Rules to Live By. Bob is one of the founders of GoDaddy.com. He has 16 rules on his list. I’ve eliminated a few of his, and at the end of his list I added one of my own!  

While the first time you read these they may seem to be very business oriented, I think they apply to life in general and to both enhancing our lives while at the same time advancing towards our goals. See what you think.

Bob Parsons’ Rules to Live By

1.Get and stay out of your comfort zone.

I believe that not much happens of any significance when we’re in our comfort zone. I hear people say, “But I’m concerned about security.” My response to that is simple: “Security is for cadavers.”

2.Never give up.

Almost nothing works the first time it’s attempted. Just because what you’re doing does not seem to be working doesn’t mean it won’t work. It just means that it might not work the way you’re doing it. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn’t have an opportunity.

3.When you’re ready to quit, you’re closer than you think.

There’s an old Chinese saying that I just love, and I believe it is so true. It goes like this: “The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed.”

With regard to whatever worries you, not only accept the worst thing that could happen, but make it a point to quantify what the worst thing could be.

Very seldom will the worst consequence be anywhere near as bad as a cloud of “undefined consequences.” My father would tell me early on, when I was struggling and losing my shirt trying to get Parsons Technology going, “Well, Robert, if it doesn’t work, they can’t eat you.”

4. Focus on what you want to have happen.
Remember that old saying, “As you think, so shall you be.”

5. Take things a day at a time.

No matter how difficult your situation is, you can get through it if you don’t look too far into the future and focus on the present moment. You can get through anything one day at a time.

6. Always be moving forward.

Never stop investing. Never stop improving. Never stop doing something new. The moment you stop improving your organization, it starts to die. Make it your goal to be better each and every day, in some small way. Remember the Japanese concept of Kaizen. Small daily improvements eventually result in huge advantages.

7. Be quick to decide.

Remember what General George S. Patton said: “A good plan executed today is far and away better than a perfect plan tomorrow.”

8. Measure everything of significance.

I swear this is true. Anything that is measured and watched improves.

9. Anything that is not managed will deteriorate.

If you want to uncover problems you don’t know about, take a few moments and look closely at the areas you haven’t examined for a while. I guarantee you problems will be there.

10. Pay attention to your competitors, but pay more attention to what you’re doing.

When you look at your competitors, remember that everything looks perfect at a distance. Even the planet Earth, if you get far enough into space, looks like a peaceful place.

11. Never expect life to be fair.

Life isn’t fair. You make your own breaks. You’ll be doing good if the only meaning fair has to you is something that you pay when you get on a bus (i.e., fare).

12. Solve your own problems.

You’ll find that by coming up with your own solutions, you’ll develop a competitive edge. Masura Ibuka, the cofounder of Sony, said it best: “You never succeed in technology, business, or anything by following the others.” There’s also an old Asian saying that I remind myself of frequently. It goes like this: “A wise man keeps his own counsel.”

13. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

Lighten up. Often, at least half of what we accomplish is due to luck. None of us are in control as much as we like to think we are.

14. There’s always a reason to smile. Find it.

After all, you’re really lucky just to be alive. Life is short. More and more, I agree with my little brother. He always reminds me: “We’re not here for a long time; we’re here for a good time.”

Shelli’s rule: Make up your own rules! It is your life, after all!

I was reading about the difference between otters and beavers the other day, and it got me thinking.

Otters are said to be the most playful of all animals.

Life for them is one frolic after another, sunbathing on a rock, eating and then more playing and frolic.

They have fun, seek out adventure, and make us say, “oh how cute” a lot.

Sounds like an ideal life, right?

Beavers, however, work really differently.

There’s a reason for the label “busy beaver.”

They gnaw down small trees and dig pathways to transport the material they gather. They build their homes of sticks and mud and dams to maintain the water level of a stream or deepen a pond.

I can surely see my “inner” beaver when she comes out.

I’m productive by nature so I can get overly absorbed in pursuing my goals. I can go through times when I’ll get up earlier and stay up too late in the name of accomplishment.

Not anymore!

These days I’m looking to balance my inner beaver with my inner otter.

It’s great to be an achiever. And I still believe in a “whatever it takes” approach when I set my intentions and am looking for certain results.

However, only on rare occasions and for limited time frames will I go full beaver and leave my otter behind.

Sure, there are times that call for FOCUS and making something happen.

That’s when I’ll call upon my inner beaver.

However, I’m learning that there is NO NEED to be in hyper-mode all the time. With better planning, delegating, and healthy expectations, life seems to come together just fine.

Under ordinary circumstances, and in my day to day life, I find that it’s much healthier and less stressful to embrace my “inner otter”.

When I complete a task or finish a project, instead of rushing like a beaver would to the next task and project, I’ll take some time to reflect on what I’ve accomplished or take a time out and do something very otter-like.

You can do something similar.

Next time you notice you’re intent on acting too beaver-like and the situation really doesn’t call for that kind of intensity, stop and think: how can I still get this done yet bring some of my inner otter out?

Here’s the point: Play more!

It’ll help you bring renewed vitality and enthusiasm to the achievement of your goals.

In other words, take yourself lightly.

You can do this even while taking your work or other responsibilities seriously.

It works for me and I know it can work for you, too.

Here’s an example of how to do this:

Make a list of your scheduled activities for next week.

For each one, ask yourself, “How can I make this fun?”

Write down your answer. And write the word FUN next to it to imprint your new perspective on your brain.

Make this a part of your weekly routine.

Let me know how it goes.

Make your new motto: You oughta be an otter!

“Shelli, thanks for the blog post. It was a nudge into looking at life in a fresh way.”

This reminded me that we all need a nudge into looking at life in a fresh way.

It’s truly amazing how routine we can all be.

Of course, some routine is great, but being ALL routine gets stale and lacks a certain creativity and energy.

One way in which we tend to become overly routine oriented is in forgetting to sample life’s treasures.

After all, life is a treasure chest filled with so many wonderful choices.

A friend was telling me that she lives in an area of the country that has many cultural offerings, wineries, athletic events and historic sights. And during her years of living there she realized she had only sampled a few of these options.

This point hit home.

Having grown up in New York, I felt embarrassed when tourists told me all that they’d seen and done, realizing how few of these sights and events I had actually seen and done.

If you’re feeling like you’re up for some new samplings and fresh ways of looking at life, try some new foods, new recipes, new activities and new fitness routines.

“Same old same old” has its place.

However, infusing your life with a fresh way of looking and doing has its place too.

Need a nudge?

Read through the Activemenopauselifestyle blog posts and you’ll find many ideas like the one that prompted this woman to email me!

Is menopause a laughing matter?

Maybe, maybe not.

Depends on your sense of humor, right?

One thing is certain, though.

Laughter and humor do MATTER and seeing what you’re experiencing through a humorous lens will make it easier and perhaps even fun.

I know some of you have seen this joke when you read your free report, 7 Simple Strategies You Can Use Today To Feel Better and Optimize Your Health During Menopause, BUT please read it again. It never fails to make me laugh!

Question: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: One! ONLY ONE! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don’t even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!

They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn’t be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS!

But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!

AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!

IT’S A WONDER WE HAVEN’T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!

IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL!

I’m sorry. What was the question?

What makes YOU laugh time and time again?

For me it’s Rowan Atkinson, the British actor who plays Mr. Bean. He makes me laugh.

It’s also my friend Victoria and my friend Ariel. Whenever I spend time with either of them, there are bound to be a few deep-belly-can -barely-catch-my-breath kind of laughs.

It’s also the Who’s On First, What’s on Second comedy routine by Abbott and Costello.

Recently, I attended the memorial service for my brother, who passed away not too long ago. Not what you’d usually think of as a humorous experience, right?

The Abbott and Costello piece was one of his favorites, so in his honor two of his friends performed this routine.

These two men had never met before and had never performed before. It was hilarious and kept us all laughing. It was a fitting tribute to my brother, whose sense of humor was as wacky as it gets.

It got me thinking.

I would be totally pleased if at my funeral people stood up and said, “We’ll miss Shelli because she had a great sense of humor and made us laugh!”

So is menopause a laughing matter?

You tell me!

If you feel like I do that life is lived best with a sense of humor and menopause is part of life, then YES, menopause is a laughing matter!

shelli